This endeavor contains a number of rather gross and repulsive offerings about which I am issuing this warning to those of a more gentle and sensitive nature. You may want to skip the next paragraph and maybe even those that follow since at the present moment I have no idea what I will include in them. In fact, you may want to close your eyes at this point while you finish reading the remainder of these words

The idea that a fellow human being would pick up a dead creature, stuff it into his or her mouth and swallow, fills most of her or his fellows with a queasy feeling of outright repulsion and disgust. Not that, if I were present at such an exhibition, that I would rush bravely forth and try to halt the hideous display. I tend to shy away from any situation that might involve confrontation, which could possibly lead to physical discomfort or even personal pain or damage to body parts. Even more gruesome would be the thought of a person placing a live wiggling, writhing specimen in his or her mouth and (gulp) swallowing!

It is true that very many an insensitive and thoughtless human is willing to place a raw oyster into his very mouth, chew without guilt and swallow. In fact, I happen to be among their disreputable number although my performance is with considerable guilt and shame. There are also reports of folks, usually in poverty-stricken third world countries, eating live creatures such as worms, insects and other despicable living life forms although I have never witnessed such behavior in actual person. Now I have never personally tried any of these intriguing delicacies nor do my present plans include doing so in the near future. In general we humans seem to prefer to eat creatures that have passed on to the great animal beyond and even when in that state, not raw.

Now, in general, we humans do not wait until a living creature has reached its untimely demise, or even a timely demise, if that hapless event occurred under natural circumstances, until we are willing to consume it. Rather we take efforts to hasten such a demise, a fact that often fills the squeamish, among whose number I must count myself, to suffer pangs of guilt and remorse. This unpleasant sensation, however, does not totally discourage us from enjoying the results of such heartless pursuit.

After an animal has been so grossly mistreated, if it is cleaned, trimmed and packaged in suitably sanitary and attractive wrappings and handled with extreme care, we are willing to consider it fit for consumption. Naturally, we take care to prepare it further by cooking it and favoring it with pleasing seasonings. At that point it has become not just edible, but the showpiece of a meal and occupies a position of extreme honor among the foodstuffs offered.

Not only has the act of animal slaughter been highly, and we truly hope, humanely, organized and undertaken entirely out of public view and collective conscience, but now an entire sub-culture for the preparation of the resulting product has emerged. This involves seasoning, perhaps pounding and cooking by a talented and sensitive chef, who often turns out to be a harried housewife whose family will only modestly appreciate her efforts.

Those of us who do not find it necessary to do the actual butchering of the beasts that eventually end up on our dinner plates (and subsequently, in our innards) tend to believe that those who do undertake this task strike with swiftness and compassion, causing their subjects as little pain and suffering as possible. I am one of those who fall into the company of those who enjoy the fruits of the outrage with guilt but without hesitation. In one case, however I am the executioner and preparer of one species that, I must admit, is done without swiftness or lack of pain to the object of my endeavor. This involves the hapless lobster, which I toss into boiling water and allow to suffer the resulting agonies. Although I feel miserable while doing this, I also consider the outcome and look forward with enthusiasm and anticipation to the result. My conscience heals quickly.

I realize that the reasons to become a vegetarian are rather compelling and that it is the truly humane thing to do. I deeply applaud those who have adopted this condition and, in fact, am proud of several members of my own family who have chosen this course. For myself, however, I lack the will power to do so and very likely will spend the rest of my life enjoying the delicious flavors of animal products and strongly disapprove of myself in the process. I guess I can live with that